Infertility is a booming problem, captivating more and more individuals each passing day. Every third house one can find people struggling to bear a child. Since the first test tube baby born in 1978, as they called it then, millions of couples have been blessed with their little bundle of joy with the help of ART( assisted reproduction technology).
Its no denial that Medical science advanced for a noble cause. But today it has become a budding money spinning machine. The whole process of IVF (in vitro fertilization) is highly draining, both monetary and psychologically. There is no sure shot result of it. The chances of success are lower than fifty percent.
I have been to many doctors to find my cause of failure to bear a child. But nobody could ever answer my “whys” instead always showed the route of IVF! Waiting in the foyer of five star hospitals I always wondered what if it fails. It tormented me deep inside. There were always hundreds of people waiting to find why. But all were shown the gates of IVF as this is the only best available ART technique.
Once I met a lady whose five months baby bursted inside her and she came to one of the best infertility specialist walking thousands of miles from her home to know the cause. But to my surprise she was told to go for IVF in next cycle. I am not a medical expert but I am sure IVF can’t guarantee her baby will not burst with this process…her problem was not conceiving but she was routed to the way to conceive.
Every time I went for my treatment I came across different stories, but solutions offered to them were same. Another lady I had met was undergoing fifteenth IVF attempt. She told me how horrifying the failure was and how she was hospitalised after every failed attempt. It gives you goose bumps.
IVF has become a guru mantra now. People who are not medically literate they too would question have you been through IVF GATE.
My ivf attempts failed too. Then doctor suggested to go for donor eggs. ( I like any other individual changed many doctors in hope of success but I was wrong. Medical science is same. IVF needs luck. ). It posed a very big question in my mind. How this whole donor thing is ethical?? The donors whether be egg or sperm is kept secret from recipient. You never get to meet them. Once you have borrowed eggs and sperms, it’s just your womb through which baby will be delivered. The world will no doubt never know about the donor thing unless you tell them but same questions, that people have , for adopted baby will pop in your head. Is baby going to be genetically fit? Are there going to be any neurological disorders? What hereditary traits baby will possess? What will the world say when baby doesn’t look like us? And the biggest scary thing is donors own baby and recipients baby won’t be siblings?
This whole donor thing is only creating genetically related children. I am not sure how many diseases will pop when unknowingly they tie the knot!!
But here doctors bury these questions and say after all you will have nine months to bond with your baby and people who are desperate about it , simply go ahead with doctor’s ideas dumping their thoughts behind.
I had this friend of mine who wanted medical fitness certificate to file for adoption. She had tough time getting the certificate as the doctors were of opinion that donor embryo with surrogacy must be exercised before considering adoption as an option! They had this argument that she won’t be able to bond with the baby. They might be true based on scientific facts backed by hormonal secretions , their research etc but the relation of mother and child is more of emotional than neural.
My question is how a surrogacy going to do any better than adoption ? Let’s weigh the two.
When doctors hire a surrogate, it’s always going to be from a family that needs monetary help. She is always kept a secret from you. So when she is carrying the baby for you it’s not in your control what she’s doing, what she’s eating, how she’s taking care of well-being of the baby inside her. When it’s through donors ,the genetic condition is again not known. The hereditary traits are mystery.
Now let’s consider adoption. Here also genetic condition of child is not known. Nor are you aware of the background of the parents who left the baby for you. No hereditary traits are known either.
So how adoption is different?? It’s way more superior than donor surrogacy. It doesn’t drill a hole in your pocket, no individual benefits monetary from it you are saved from the trauma of failures and the pain IVF adds to your life. At the onset, that divine child could get your love, your affection and in turn would light up your lives!!! A new born doesn’t understand relations but love. Doesn’t identify you by the tags you carry but the warmth in your heart. For a child mother is one who loves unconditionally, father is one who cares unconditionally!!
If you feel you have this emotion called LOVE, adoption outweighs any other option. It will save the trauma of failures and you can enjoy parenthood for sure! The twinkle in your baby’s eyes will double your joy. The cuddle of your baby will fill your heart with warmth like never before. When those tender hands will hold your finger, trust me you will feel divinity!!
There are hundreds of orphans waiting to feel wanted. They need parents whom they can confide into. It’s their right to be loved.
URL for child adoption in India! It’s simple, it’s easy. One just needs to fill in the details like DOB, PAN CARD, EDUCATION ETC.
Oprah Winfrey has rightly said, ” biology is least that makes someone a mother”
Enjoy parenthood, every single effort is worth it
PS: Please don’t read article as vendetta against any profession. There’s one friend who is inspiration behind this. He has one biological son and then he adopted two daughters.
It’s no more true that adoption process sucks your blood. Current govt has made everything transparent and online. Waiting period has reduced drastically. Don’t loose heart with old stories where people waited years for it.